It seems to be an experience shared by many parents that once the lively vacation with our children is over, one that we longed for, we are more exhausted than when it began. My question today is how do we spend time with our children day after day and not get burned out and distant but instead feel connection and affection for those we love the most? How do we still see the adorable, silly and endearing little (or big) faces after spending days shut in the house because of snow and then vacations from school, a few head colds and then more snow?
The times when I feel most relaxed and connected to my children is if I can remain present with them. If I can really listen and appreciate the creativity of our sons new song even when tired. When our one year old is upset and my head throbs from the crying, to still notice how deep and dark his eyes have gotten as he grows. To notice the shape of their toes and feet and wonder if I could pick them out of a crowd. In the midst of our five year old's loud refusal to do something we have just asked, to still appreciate his independence and how that will translate into his adulthood. When they wake up at night and it feels painful to get out of bed and take care of their needs to remember there will be a day that they will not need us as much and how my heart will break when they are grown and leave us. It is also essential to be consistent and assertive in teaching our children that parents need "time outs" too and to respect when we ask for quiet or for them to play independently. Last but so incredibly important is to know when we need support and are overwhelmed. To reach out to others and to recognize and accept that we can not or even should not be or provide everything for our children.
Wishing you peace in the New Year,
Shana
Tuesday, January 6, 2009
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